Saturday, October 31, 2009

On the verge

I am tingling, I am on the verge. Do you know that feeling, everything has been black and stormy, and you even feel dark inside?

Normally I am way too optimistic, I see the bright side of everything, I "fix" everything in my mind and convince myself that it is that way in "Real Life".

But not lately.

My family has been threatened, my home feels unsafe, my life cannot feel private and closed enough.

The way of life that I have spent our whole marriage building, and my whole life dreaming of came crashing to an end.

I cannot stay in this dark place, I have seen some rays of sun, and even though I feel like a ship that has been battered away from the shore for the last time, once again, my God is lifting my face and saying take hope, there is another day.

And it feels like starting over and it feels like it might be safe and it feels like a brand new day.

I hope. I am still afraid.

So we are going to dance anyway.


  1. Anything I could say sounds trite after that, but I am praying for you and your family, for God's grace and strength to be very real. Susie~