Things I would say to my grandpa if I could

Goodbye to my dear grandpa Robert Clayton Shrauger.
You were always a great man to me, a real man and an authentic cowboy. You were hard working your whole life, and the world is now missing your inventive, imaginitive building and repairing. I know you loved your family, and you struggled in how you could connect with us. I know you were grateful for each and every time that we pushed past your gruffness to be with you, and the last time I came to see you with the whole family, you were so happy that we all came that I almost cried at the look of happiness on your face. When we left a look of fear came over you, and you shut the door abruptly on our goodbyes. I could see that you knew, and you feared. You knew that you didn't need to fear, the comforter of all fears was right within your reach. I hope and pray that you did reach out to God, as you were slipping away without any of us there.
I am sorry that we couldn't be there, but maybe that was the way you wanted it. You left so quickly, and with so many things unsaid, it seemed like many were angry with you for that at your funeral. I want you to know that I wasn't, I loved you how you were, and your first grandbaby will miss you.