Today, I feel lonely.  It's not just the fall weather starting, I just am feeling a little disconnected.  I struggle to balance the needs of my marriage, of nine children, six homeschoolers, our farm, and trying to keep on top of the lyme.  We used to joke that our friends were whittled down to those who didn't mind if we were late. Now, will I have any friends, since I just plain can't show up? Haven't been doing much in the creative areas, just giving that over to God.  Ideas hurt when they pop in only my brain, and I can't get them out to act on.  Some days it just spinns around inside of me, and other days it drags me down.  Hopefully I am learning to just give it up, and believe that a different season will be here once again.  Spinning "some" fiber, and planning on making some wool stuffed crib size duvets, but it doesn't feel like enough, especially when I used to help with the budget while "making".  And what about my littles learning some skills?  Hopefully soon.  Looking forward to a stiller season...